Can't Sleep? 5 Ways You Can Learn How to Fall Asleep Fast

Fact: Insomnia leading to sleep deprivation could cause severe health problems, maybe even death.

I know that sounds unbelievable, but it is true. In a recent article published on June 27, 2012 by the Huffington Post, a 26-year-old Chinese man actually died after going for 11 days without sleep. Seems he was attempting to stay awake and watch every game in the recent European Championship soccer matches.
Apparently, staying up and going so long without sleep weakened his immune system to the point that it caused his eventual death.

Past research findings published in Scientific American have indicated that it is possible for people to go for as many as 10 days without sleep while not suffering any significant health risks, but that is rare.
While the health of these sleep deprivation study subjects did not experience any serious problems with their health, they did have problems with perception, concentration levels, awareness, irritability, hallucinations and other similar problems. These conditions worsened the longer study subjects were awake. If you're suffering from insomnia, you know what I'm talking about.
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The cumulative effects of insomnia can cause the human body to lower body temperature, develop difficulty in metabolizing glucose and even raise blood pressure levels.

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Insomnia Can Lead to Bigger Problems

OK, so you're not staying up for 10 or 11 days and this doesn't affect you, right? Well, maybe you should consider the following facts about insomnia and sleep deprivation.
After just 24 hours without sleep, bad things are already starting to happen to your body - like a rise in the levels of stress hormones and blood pressure levels. These conditions can lead to heart problems among other things.
After just a day or two without sleep, your body may have difficulty metabolizing glucose, internal body temperatures begin to go down and your immune system stops working. After several days with no sleep, things just continue to get worse.
There are currently no studies that have discovered why going for many days without sleep may be fatal, however, studies done on animals have indicated that going without sleep for two weeks can lead to death, according to Scientific American.

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Even if you're not going for days without sleep, the lack of restful, adequate sleep can lead to other health conditions.
Adequate sleep is defined to be about 10 to 11 hours each night for kids, 7 to 9 hours for teenagers and about 8.5 to 9 hours or more for adults.
Cumuluative lack of sleep caused by chronic insomnia may contribute to other health problems like obesity, diabetes, depression, heart disease and depression.
If you'e having trouble sleeping, you're probably reading this article in the middle of the night or after several nights of being deprived and you need some helpful, solid advice to help you learn how to fall asleep...
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Method #1 - Exercise Defeats Insomnia

It has been common knowledge for some time that exercise may help beat insomnia. As a matter of fact, exercise is one of the most effective methods to lessen or beat insomnia.
Exercise is known as a beneficial stressor to the human body. Your brain actually knows how to compensate for the exercise by increasing the amount of time you sleep.

Exercise also promotes the best, restful stage 4 sleep. One note here, you should not exercise for at least 4 hours before going to bed.
 study done at Stanford University of Medicine showed that people who exercised for 20-30 minutes each day fell asleep up to 50% faster and slept longer.

Method #2 - Cell Phones and Falling Asleep

If you want to learn how to fall asleep fast, simply turn off cell phone 1 hour before bed. Recent research indicates that the electromagnetic radiation produced by cell phones and other WiFi devices may actually hinder the ability to get to sleep.
All brain activity comes from bioelectrical pulses generated and transmitted by neurons through a system of complex neural circuits. Electrical brain wave patterns may be disrupted by signals produced by a cell phone, causing aberrations in normal sleep patterns - sometimes long after the cell phone is turned off. Turn off the cell phone may help you beat insomnia.
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Source: Photolity; CC BY-SA 2.0 via Flickr.com

Method #3 - Aromatherapy, Essential Oils and Insomnia

Some of the best essential oils used in aromatherapy to treat insomnia include clary sage, bergamot, chamomile, jasmine, frankincense, marjoram, lavender, sandalwood, rose and ylang ylang.

In Europe years ago, children were sent to bed with a small herb-filled pillow filled with hops, lavender, chamomile, melissa and dill to help them sleep. Adults would make pillows filled with dried hops which have a natural, mild sedative effect.
Other effective insomnia treatments include a warm bath with chamomile and lavender oil added. Some aromatherapy treatments may be obtained by burning an aroma scented candle. You can find more information and essential oil recipes to beat insomnia and learn how to fall asleep at the link below:

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Source: Pedrito Guzman; CC BY-SA 2.0 via Flickr.com

Method #4 - Take an Imagination Vacation

The main trick to this method of learning how to fall asleep fast is bringing the outside awareness of your surroundings to the inside of your mind. Some have a fancy term for this - guided imagery.
I just call it a little imagination vacation. In simplest terms possible, this is how it works: When awake, your mind is aware of external surroundings and images.
Images are how your mind communicates with your body. When you think of a place from your past, you see it in your mind. Your mind also remembers the feelings and sensations associated with that memory.
When you see that place in your mind's eye, the mind tells your body to experience those associated feelings and sensations. In other words, if you can imagine a relaxing place in your mind, your body will also relax.
Reading does the same thing by causing you to see images in your mind rather than outside, or in plain sight. This inward imagining makes it easier to learn how to fall asleep fast and beat insomnia.
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Method #5 - Melatonin for Insomnia

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) discovered that melatonin (a hormone normally secreted at night in humans) can help adults get a better night's sleep - especially older adults.
According to this study, about 0.3 milligrams was enough to restore normal sleep patterns and sleep all the way through the night. Melatonin is a natural substance and readily available in most health food stores and the most popular dosage is 3 milligrams - that's about 10 times the amount used in the MIT study.
Too much melatonin can actually cause potentially serious side effects and even cause a "melatonin hangover" in some people. Before using any substance, it's best to check with your doctor first.
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Eat, Drink, Be Nice

IT’S dinnertime, and 6-year-old Joaquin Hurtado is staying in his seat. He hasn’t stood up, run around the table or wrestled with his little brother. Good thing. It wouldn’t take much unruly behavior to shatter the dishware or the mood in this upscale restaurant.

“This is a place where you come to eat,” the boy says softly, explaining nice manners. “It’s not a place to play.”

The place is Chenery Park, a restaurant with low lights, cloth napkins, $24 grilled salmon and “family night” every Tuesday. Children are welcome, with a catch: They are expected to behave — and to watch their manners, or learn them. Think upscale dining with training wheels.

Chenery Park has many allies in the fight to teach manners to a new generation of children. Around the country, there are classes taught by self-appointed etiquette counselors — Emily Posts for a new age — delivering a more decentralized and less formal approach to teaching manners than in years past. A few restaurants, like Chenery Park, and high-end hotels set aside space and time for families.

These etiquette experts say that new approaches are needed because parents no longer have the stomach, time or know-how to play bad cop and teach manners. Dinnertime has become a free-for-all in many households, with packed family schedules, the television on in the background and a modern-day belief of many parents that they should simply let children be children.

Some of these manners-minders acknowledge that they can sound like curmudgeons, just another generation of older folks mourning the lost habits of more refined times. But they also say that parents welcome their efforts as a way of outsourcing the hard work of teaching youngsters to follow rules.

During a recent family night at Chenery Park, Joseph Kowal, an owner, roamed among the regulars and newcomers, saying hello and occasionally playing parental ally. He’s got a twinkle in his eye but a steely commitment to having children — even if they’re not etiquette role models — at least sit politely and not scream or throw food.

“Some parents will say, ‘Uncle Joe’s going to come up here, and he’s going to be cross with you,’ ” Mr. Kowal said. “They use that to their advantage.” He recalled one child who wouldn’t settle down, and he threatened to tape the child’s mouth. The child told him to go ahead and try.

“I went to my office, got some blue painter’s tape, came back and ripped a piece off,” he said. The kid piped down. “The parents looked at me like, ‘We’re going to try that at home.’ ”

All of which raises some intriguing questions: Is it Joe who brings out the best in his young patrons? Or something else? And what are the best strategies for training children to be polite, to pay attention to the world around them, whether they are in dim lighting with fragile dishware or at home?

ETIQUETTE teachers, other parents and people who spend time thinking about how and why we mind our manners have some interesting ideas about new strategies.

“These days, you have to teach kids about return on investment,” said Robin Wells, the founder of Etiquette Manor in Coral Gables, Fla., which holds classes on etiquette for adults and children. When it comes to children, she said, long gone are the days when you could tell them that they have to behave a certain way “just because.”

So, even as she imparts lessons about using forks and the importance of looking the waiter in the eye, she does so by framing the lessons in a constructively selfish way for the children. She often exhorts her young students: be polite to your mother because she’ll be happier, and if she’s happier, you’re happier.

On the first day of her five one-hour sessions, which cost $285, she tells the children to go home and do one unexpectedly kind thing so that they can see how wide-eyed and impressed their parents will be. “It’s almost manipulation at its finest,” she said. 

Then she starts in with the knives and forks, and the proper way to address an adult or a waiter. On the last day of class, they attend a three-course meal at an upscale restaurant. (Among her lessons: she slams a clunky landline phone on the table and asks children if that seems O.K. No, she responds, so don’t put your cellphone on the table either.)  

Around the country, hundreds of entrepreneurs teach versions of etiquette and manners classes, said Elena Neitlich, the founder of Moms On Edge, a company, with offices in Osprey, Fla., that offers online certification for manners teachers through a course called Etiquette Moms, at prices ranging from $250 to $1,250.

She believes that teaching manners to children has grown more challenging, and necessary, in part because of technology.

“Kids have stopped making eye contact at one another,” Ms. Neitlich said. “They bring their technology to the table. She added that it is true of parents, too: “Everyone is in a hurry. Things are clipped, clipped, clipped.”

It all makes teaching manners at home challenging, said Faye de Muyshondt, the founder of Socialsklz, which teaches workshops in New York City on etiquette and social skills. Modern children seem to want no part of the conversation, she said.

“Say the words ‘manners’ or ‘etiquette’ to kids these days, and they run the other direction,” she said. She prefers teaching the children that they are “building the brand called ‘you.’ ”

“People don’t want to eat with someone whose plate looks like a science project,” she tells the children in her workshops. “If you want to be invited back on a play date,” she explains, be polite.

She thinks that one key aspect of her workshops, which take place in schools or with Brownie troops, is that they don’t happen in the home or at the dinner table. “The casual nature of the home makes it difficult,” she said, adding that most children she talks to say that their families have the television on during dinner.

Indeed, she and other experts talked repeatedly about setting, and how it affects manners and behavior.

It turns out that this concept is connected to science from a group of seemingly unrelated researchers: criminologists. They look at what is happening at a place like Chenery Park through a very different lens called ecological psychology, or its subset, broken-windows theory. It suggests that when an environment is dilapidated, it gives permission to people to misbehave. When the proverbial windows are not broken, neither is the behavior, or so the theory goes.

“A fancy restaurant gives off so many cues that this is a place for refined behavior,” said Ralph B. Taylor, a professor of criminal justice at Temple University who studies how environments influence behavior. And he and other people in the field say that the environment changes not just the youngsters. “The parents are changed,” he added. “You’re not talking loud; you’re not yacking on the cellphone. Everybody is with the program.”

Dr. Taylor and other experts said that parents can take some of the ecological psychology lessons from places like Chenery Park.

“Take parts of the restaurant home with you,” he advised. Use a tablecloth or nice napkins to simulate the environment that changed children’s behavior. He suggested also introducing children to other environments — like highbrow concerts or museums.

Ms. Wells, the Florida manners teacher, made a similar point: take a child to the window of a nice restaurant, look inside and ask how people are behaving and what the child loves about the scene.

And when you bring the well-mannered rules back into your own home, don’t do it every night, counseled Ms. de Muyshondt, of Socialsklz.

“You turn into a nag,” she said. Given the less formal nature of our society, she suggested creating a “bridge” through periodic training, like one formal night a week.

On a recent night at Chenery Park, Joaquin, the well-behaved 6-year-old, sat in the upstairs dining area near the front, eating pasta with butter and Parmesan cheese. He was joined by his brother, Sisto, 4, eating a Hebrew National hot dog, one of the handful of inexpensive kid-friendly Tuesday night menu items, and their two mothers.

One of them, Arcelia Hurtado, said that the family regularly goes to Chenery Park, largely because the adults want a nice meal. But it’s a bonus that the boys think about being in “an adult space.” At home, Ms. Hurtado said, dinnertime is chaos.

“There’s something about the physical setting” of the restaurant, she said. “They see the cloth napkins, and they know to put them in their laps.” She sometimes has to tell them to remember to behave. “I kind of feel an obligation for kids to behave well, since Joe is doing this nice thing for us.”

Mr. Kowal, who does not have children of his own, grew up in Rhode Island in a family that wasn’t super strict, he said, but did require children to be polite. He started his family nights after the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 — initially because business was slow on Tuesdays, but then it evolved as a popular training ground. The restaurant’s Web site says, “We’re here to help kids learn proper ways of eating in nicer restaurants with Mom and Dad.”

Mr. Kowal himself can sometimes come across as hurried and even brusque. He has been known to scold parents, too. He once reprimanded a woman for talking on her phone and ignoring her son, who was yelling loudly. The woman was offended and told Mr. Kowal she wouldn’t be going back. He responded that that was her choice, and the people at nearby tables applauded.

Another night, two families were sitting at adjoining tables. At one of them, a 5-year-old starting yelling and jumping up and down.

“The second or third time it happened, one of the kids at the other table goes over to the one jumping up and down and said, ‘You can’t do that,’ ” Mr. Kowal recalled. “That was the best.”

Daily Word: Be Content!! Not Complacent!!

Happy Thursday, my satisfied and fulfilled!

Welcome to the day you realize that all you ever wanted is all you already have! Today’s Daily Word is dedicated to being content! Most people are not happy, because they are constantly in search for more instead of taking a breathe to enjoy what they have! They wish things were different than when their wish is granted; then they wish for more!

It is important to realize that in order to get more out of life, you have to do the most with what you have now! Don’t ask for steak if you have not even started eating your Ramen noodles! Right now, where you stand, you have an opportunity to be the best possible you! Once you maximize that, doors will begin to open wide!

It’s mandatory to keep dreaming because complacency is unacceptable but don’t dream so much that you miss out on what is now! Be content! Live Life to the Fullest!! And make sure
you are stopping to smell the roses! Be grateful, because the life you live now is a life that some would give their left hands for! You are blessed beyond measure! Appreciate those blessings and make life great!
-Ash’Cash

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” -Ann Brashares

“Poor is the man whom is not content with what he has.” -Rita Gonzalez

“If we cannot be contented with our current lives and possessions, then we are feeding an appetite that no amount of money will ever satisfy.” -Breanna Sampson

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

“Happiness can only be achieved by looking inward & learning to enjoy whatever life has and this requires transforming greed into gratitude.” -John Chrysostom

“Wanting less is probably a better blessing than having more.” -Mary Ellen Edmunds

“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” -Dale Carnegie

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” -Lao Tzu

90 Day Personal Growth Boot Camp: Day 85-Fuel Your Passion

Erma Bombeck joked, “I will not participate in a sport where there is an ambulance at the bottom of the hill.” It is a powerful thing to find joy and humor in the events in our life.

Pablo Picasso once said, “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”  

Personal growth is an art that must be followed up by action. Again, the two fears that hold people back are the fear of failure and the fear of rejection, that they won’t be loved. You can learn more about Picasso at Cleveland's Museum of Art.

Bob Dunwoody offers a cure for this; he simply says remember that nobody cares. When you take this attitude you are free from beliefs about being judged and can embrace life with a passion.

What does he mean? Think about it, there are seven billion souls on the planet. Most of us at any given time are in contact in one form or another with an estimated 250 people. Even if we make that number 25,000 people, that is still only a fraction of a percent.

So consider, how many people are held back because they are concerned what .000001 percent of the world thinks? It is a freeing position to take, and it is absolutely accurate. Yet we often get consumed with what one or two people are thinking, how they are judging, what criticisms we imagine they may launch, and that they may not accept us. But when we realize that nobody cares, it is not pessimistic; it is an optimistic view that leaves us free to be ourselves.

When you add to this the understanding that most of our fears are only imagined, it makes the number even smaller. How often have we thought someone had a certain intention but learned we were very wrong about our judgment?

So the next time you want to chase a passion and a voice arises that says, what will people think, simply reply, nothing, nobody cares.

Anthony Robbins offers tremendous insight when he reminds us, this is not that, that is not this, this is this and that is that. Be accurate in how you define any experience.

We must be careful to label any experience, to not let an experience label us, and to be sure that the words we speak and the thoughts we have serve our highest good.

Bernard Jordan shares, “When you name a thing, you define its nature.” So be careful how you label an event or a person, or an imagined intention. What matters is what you care about, so pursue it, and in the end you can inspire others to be themselves as well. Go for it, nobody cares!

11 Things Everyone Needs You to Know

“One love, one heart, one destiny.”
-Bob Marley

A silhouette of a human being stands before you.

Perhaps an old friend.  Perhaps a neighbor.  Perhaps a perfect stranger, like me.

Here are 11 things we all need you to keep in mind…

1. You never really know how much the people around you are hurting.  You could be standing next to someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it.  So never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.  And remember that there are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope, or a mirror that reflects it.  Be one of the two every chance you get.  Read The Four Agreements.
2. The most important trip you will likely take in life is meeting others half way.  You will achieve far more by working with people, rather than against them.  Giving someone else a voice, and showing them that their ideas matter, will have a long-lasting, positive impact on the both of you.
3. Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect it.  Happiness is an inside job.  Relationships are simply the mirrors of your happiness; they reflect it and help you celebrate it.  They are mirrors because they are a perfect reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.  To reflect means to encourage you when you feel weak and challenge you when you feel strong, thereby returning you to your center.  And to celebrate is to share the natural ease and joy of living from your center – of living in the now with clarity.
4. Compassion comes back around.  The son who tends to his chronically ill mother, ignoring his own exhaustion; the neighbor who gives a helping hand, even as his own needs go unanswered; the one who donates a couple dollars to someone in need, even if she has to break her last five dollar bill to do it.  Maybe you don’t hear the names of these unsung heroes in the news, but surely the universe hears their names and treats them accordingly.
5. Timing is everything.  There is a time for silence, a time to let go and allow your friends to launch themselves into their own destiny, and a time to cheer for their victories, or help them pick up the pieces, when it’s all over.  Read The Friendship Factor.
6. Actions are the loudest form of communication.  What you do speaks so loud that others will have a hard time hearing what you say.  So practice what you preach or don’t preach at all – walk the talk.  And remember that there is often a major gap between what someone says and what they do.  Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
7. A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open.  Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped.  Relationships thrive in this environment.  Keep your doors and windows open.  If a person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
8. People are more what they keep silent than what they say.  Pay attention to their quiet gestures.  If you cannot understand someone’s silence, you will have a hard time understanding their words.  Read The Definitive Book of Body Language.
9. What others say and do is often based entirely on their own self-reflection.  When you have people speaking to you who are angry and upset, and you nevertheless remain very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place yourself in a position of great power.  You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and healed.  A Zen teacher once said, “When somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get themselves out; and then act as though it never happened.”  Allowing people to save face in this way, and not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent behavior, is an act of great kindness.  This is possible when we realize that people behave in such ways because they are in a place of great suffering.  People react to their own thoughts and feelings and their behavior often has nothing directly to do with you.
10. Sincerity is giving without expectation.  Good character and true friendship is all about how a person nurtures another person who is vulnerable and can give nothing in return.  So when you have been through tough times and come out the other side, look around you.  The people still standing beside you are your true friends.
11. Not every relationship is meant to last forever.  Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life.  Some people are just passing through to bring you something – perhaps a lesson you need to learn, or memory that makes you smile years later.  When the time comes, it’s okay to let go and move on with your life

Creative Thinking – What Is It? And How Can You Start Doing It Now!

When you see the phrase “creative thinking” what’s the first thing that springs to mind?

For many it would be the term “thinking outside the box”

I’m here to tell you that when it comes to creative thinking “thinking outside the box” is the worse possible thing you can do!

Many aspire to be good at it, there are countless articles and books about it but few really know what creative thinking actually is.

Which is kind of odd because most of us do it on a daily basis, (even if we don’t realize it.)

I’m going to give you a definition that will actually make you more creative!

Ready?

Creative thinking is exactly the same as the telling a joke.

When you tell a joke you link a number of things together in an original way and at the end of that connection you get a laugh (hopefully).

When you think creatively you make connections between things and generate new ideas (new for you.)

Why does knowing this definition make you more creative?

Awareness of connections leads to more connections which leads to more connections and so on. We all know someone who has a reputation as an ideas guy. They have simply conditioned their brain, usually without realising it, to consistently make new intelligent connections.

Note the word intelligent!

For your creative thinking to have any real value it needs to be suitable to the context in which you are doing your creative thinking. That context is the box in which you think.

Think inside the box not out of it and your ideas will be far more useful.

Let’s look at some simple but powerful techniques you can use to condition your brain to start being more creative.

The most powerful way I know is one we use every day.

Questions!

Asking a question sends a signal to the brain that forces it to start looking to make new connections. The important factor is the quality of your questions!

• Are they intelligent?
• Are they suitable to your context?
• Are they positive questions rather than negative ones?

Questions I have started to ask myself every day:

• How can I add value to this?
• How can I extract something of value from my day?
• What can I glean from the few remaining hours?

By asking these questions and acting on the answers that come to mind I have  gained a lot more satisfaction and gratitude in my life (I’ve also achieved a lot more!) Start looking at the questions you ask yourself. Are they allowing your brain to make positive and most importantly useful connections?

Something else to think about is the material you are providing your brain with.

Reading

The brain is a connection making and pattern finding machine but on a daily basis most of the connections we make are ones we have made before. Reading is a really good way to make new connections. If you generally read horror fiction then read a science fiction novel. If you generally read fiction read non-fiction. The material you will feed your brain will allow it to form new connections. Read something different today.

Emotional State

Your creativity levels are connected to your emotional and physical states. Its far easier to be creative when you’re in a positive mood. Interestingly enough when you are being creative you tend to find you are happier than when you started – the two feed each other. Become aware of your emotional state – change it with positive questions and make new positive connections that will add value to your life and the life of others.

These three are things you can start doing right away.  Focus on the one that is easiest for you and practice it on a daily base with a view to creative thinking. Watch your creativity grow!

Joseph Benn is passionate about creative thinking and the difference it can make in business and life. He’s the author of Brilliant Business Ideas which shows you how to generate business ideas in less than 15 minutes. He posts regularly on www.ideasmapping.com and if this post has interested you sign up for his free 10 day creative thinking workshop. He can also be found on twitter(http://twitter.com/ideasmapping) and facebook. (http://www.facebook.com/brilliantbusinessideas)

Photo credit: ‘Think Bubble‘ by Big Stock

Mean People Suck (Your Energy) – How to Protect Yourself from Toxic People

Toxic. We all know the word and many of us use it to define substances that may harm us if we are exposed. What about the individuals who have a negative impact on others? They are perhaps one of the most toxic substances because they enter into our lives under the guise of friendship.

Do you allow toxic people into your life?

Toxic friends are those who drain you of your energy, are unsupportive and most importantly unequal in the shared friendship energy. As women, we adhere to an unwritten code that tells us we must be loyal to a friend. Through thick and thin, no matter what occurs.

Most women admit that even when a friendship is draining their energy and sabotaging their own integrity and self-esteem, that they should remain loyal to the friendship. We are certainly told in regard to all other relationships to set boundaries, and to not tolerate relationships that are unhealthy. Yet, why do we continue and so often encourage the toxic friend to remain in our life?

Why do we feel this way? We safeguard ourselves from toxic chemicals, toxic food additives and toxic waste. Yet, many of us do not know where to begin to manage and safeguard ourselves from the emotional and often physical stress that results from a relationship with a toxic individual.

When someone shows you who they really, believe them the very first time ~Maya Angelo

The most important (and often most difficult) step to take is to identify a toxic person. People will show you who they really are right away, but often we make the mistake of compensating for the red flags that warn us of their toxic personality by justifying their unacceptable behavior.

The Personality Traits of a Toxic Friend

Self-Involved – The friend who can’t see past their own world. Think of the playgroup mom who never asks you how you are. In fact, after hours of many conversations, you realize you know every detail of every crisis in her life and yet, she doesn’t know a thing about you. Typically, she is a victim of all that happens in her life, and takes no responsibility for her actions, including the fact that you can’t get a word in edgewise.

Demanding – The friend who expects much and gives little to the friendship. You know who I am speaking of. She is the friend who cannot imagine why you would not help her with a task when you have a fever of a 104. She is demanding of your time, your help and your emotional energy. Yet, she often never offers you any support or reciprocated energy.

Needy – Do you have a friend who calls you at all hours of the day to complain and vent about her life to you? She constantly seeks your advice, but never takes action on the things you discuss? She needs constant attention and becomes angry and weepy when you are not immediately available to her. Her demands exhaust you mentally and emotionally.

Unsupportive – The unsupportive friend who will never make rude or demeaning statements directly, but there is always an undertone of hostility. She is the stereotypical passive aggressive personality and any step you take towards success is viewed as a threat. She may say things like, “Yes, you did really well. Thank goodness you had my help.” She may want you to be happy and successful as long as she is more happy or successful. She must win at all costs.

How to Protect Yourself from Toxic People

Do you recognize any of the toxic red flags above in your friendships or people you know? Are you allowing toxic in your life? If so, there are steps you can take to complete a HAZMAT sweep of your world.

Recognize – Watch for the toxic personality red flags outlined above and observe how that behavior is impacting you.

Step Back – As with any toxic chemical, you must first limit your exposure to this person to prevent toxic side effects. Use this time to gain clarity and release yourself from any guilt or fear you may have of hurting the person’s feelings. Engaging with a toxic person adds stress to your life and damages your self-esteem. You must stop giving of your time and self to a person who brings no value to you. It is time to put you first.

Set Boundaries – Now that you have identified the toxic people relationships in your life, it is time to set serious boundaries. If the relationship is casual, changing behavior with boundary setting will be easier then it will be in a long-standing friendship.

Train and Reinforce – It’s important to realize that you are responsible for reinforcing and basically training people to treat you. Use the open-ended sentences below establish boundaries and begin the training process:

Example conversation with the playgroup mom…

When you…talk to me so much during playgroup about your personal issues

I feel…unable to observe and enjoy watching our children play.

If you continue to…discuss such personal issues with me

I will…need to sit at another table.

Be clear and firm about your expectations and then be consistent. If you set the boundary by stating the above to the playgroup mom, and still engage her by listening to her drama, you will teach her that it is okay to dismiss your request.

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships and Replacing with Healthy Ones

Remember, the toxic person is needy and attention seeking. When she shows you who she is, believe her. Set boundaries with the toxic friend in all areas that are affecting your life. For example, where you feel the friendship is lacking and what you need from her if the friendship is going to continue.

I say IF because if after you set boundaries and express what you need from her and her toxic behavior continues, you may need to take a break from the friendship to gain clarity. If nothing seems to change the relationship for the better, as much as it’s a difficult decision, you may need to make that break permanent.

Surround yourself with people who give you that special power that only the healthiest of relationships provide – ones where you feel uplifted, supported, encouraged and the energy is equal. It is time to respect and value yourself by setting boundaries with how you are treated and who you share your valuable time with.

In doing so, you will become more confident in the future and able to easily identify the toxic person when they show you who they are the very first time. You will no longer attract individuals who are toxic at all and you will clear your life of any unhealthy relationships you are currently in leaving more room for healthy people to enter your life.

Remember, when toxic tries to walk right into your world again, say this: “Back off toxic, I embrace my power.”

How To Find Your Passion in Life

What if you could wake up every morning enthusiastic and overjoyed about the day ahead of you?

What if the underlying dread of “going to work each day” completely disappeared…and instead was replaced by an eager, overjoyed excitement to do what you do?

Believe it or not, for some people, this is the everyday reality: They jump out of bed, eager to begin their work day simply because they LOVE WHAT THEY DO.

But most people are still somewhat behind this trend. These are the ones who slug through the work week eager to find escape in their weekend plans and parties…Only to dread Monday as it inevitably creeps up on them. And it always does.

Don’t let this be you.

But how can you find that one activity or cause that you love and get rich from it? Where do you begin?

One way to discover your true passion is to ask yourself some questions. Here are 4 to get you started:

1 – What does the kid in you love? – When you were a child, what did you enjoy doing? What did you want to be when you grew up? What were you naturally good at? See if you can tap into your inner child to get to a truer, more pure version of yourself.

2 – What would you do for free? – What’s one thing that you’d eagerly do for free just because it gives you so much joy and meaning in life? If you’re willing to do something free, you’ll definitely have enough passion to drive you toward real success as you creatively monetize it.

3 – If I won the lottery, yet had to build my ideal business (not using any of the funds I won), what would I create? – What would you do if you had absolutely no financial pressure yet still had to contribute to society in a meaningful way that paid you? Or, for those who prefer to work for someone else: what would you do if you won the lottery but still had to go to work each day? Where would you work? You might be surprised at what you come up with.

4 – What does my dream life look like? – We all have a vision of what our ideal life would look like. And although every current moment is perfect as it is, we should certainly strive for a greater vision of life (this helps us grow personally, psychologically, spiritually, etc). So imagine it. What does your ideal life look like? Where do you work? What do you do each day? Where do you live? Try to answer these questions in a serious way, that’s how you’ll get the most out of it.

Some people might say, “Yea, that’s nice but I just want success, why bother with passion?”

The answer to that is: Truth be told, most people don’t find or experience success unless they’re doing what they’re really passionate about. Your passion is your purpose…it’s what you were CREATED to do in this lawfully-driven world! Plus, success is a holistic experience that includes money…but it’s more than money.

Success is the experience of being genuinely fulfilled, finding meaning in your daily activity, personally growing, contributing and of course generating excellent revenue from these contributions.

The key reason you need to start with what you’re passionate about before achieving genuine success is that nothing other than passion has the power to sustain, guide, and drive you when you face the many obstacles or “challenges” that you will. It’s passion that drives all outstanding success.

When you’re working in accordance with your passion, you’re in flow. Not just with yourself but with the universe as a whole. So go ahead and find yours today if you haven’t already!

About the authors: Cece Suwal and Mark Brener are coauthors of the national bestseller, A Guide To Your Supreme Power and cofounders of The One World Initiative, where you can discover your path to money, love, power, success, life purpose, and meaning.

Photo credit: ‘Sky Diving‘ by Big Stock